Culture of the Family

Culture is defined as “the quality in a person or society that arises from a concern for what is regarded as excellent in arts, letters, manners, scholarly pursuits, etc.” (dictionary.com). For the purpose of this post, we’ll focus on the “manners” and “scholarly pursuits” aspect of the definition of culture, and how it acts as a set of rules and traditions. Culture is not bound by skin tone, location, and the spoken language. These are obvious, and what we commonly look to in figuring out someone’s culture. Not all people who are from the same place think the same. Individual families have their own culture which is the result of what has been passed down to them.

For example, one family cuts the ends off of each side of the roast before cooking it for dinner. As the mother was preparing the roast, her daughter asked why she always cut of the sides of the roast. The mother told her daughter that’s just what they’ve always done when preparing a roast for dinner. Still wanting to understand if there was another reason, the daughter asked around in the family. After going back a couple generations, she learned the roast was too big for the oven at one point. In order to cook it, they had to take a few inches off of the sides for it to fit. After this incident, it just became habit and even an expected behavior.

As interesting as this mannerism is, it had been perpetuated, from generation to generation.

Within each social class, a different culture is expected and most often passed on from one generation to the next. There are many indicators people use to determine the socioeconomic status (SES) of others around them: amount of income, location of where you live, level of education, who they associate themselves with, occupation, family name, clothing, appearance, mannerisms, hobbies, vacations, and health. All of these indicators lead others to make assumptions of where such a person belongs in the social ladder and treats them as they feel those in that class should be treated.

Most Americans may have a difficult time talking about the class system. After all, we are supposed to be “one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all” (the Pledge of Allegiance).  Despite growing up and reciting this pledge, there are some who reject it and make different choices- they criticize and demean others. There are some that come to a conclusion, even without menace, that can lead to offending others.

Throughout 18^th months of service in the Midwest, I encountered people of various nationalities, races, and financial standing. Each family had their own culture within in the home.

I noticed a reoccurring theme in the lives of those I met regardless of their background and circumstances: the culture of their situation had been perpetuated to them. Of course, this is a general observation and is not applicable to everyone. It is important to keep in mind that certain behavioral patterns or approaches to various situations are learned from parents or guardians. There was commonly a generational relapse into the same SES, or lower, because that is all they felt they deserved. Others, by how they treat them, remind them of what class they “belong” to and won’t allow them to change, even if it’s for the better. If someone doesn’t have connections and isn’t well informed, then they will miss opportunities.

Most of the time, when someone is trying to change their SES to be in a higher social class, or falls into financial hardship from poor life choices, they are usually outcasts of the family because they are rejecting the culture of the family.

What aspects of your culture would you like to pass on to future generations? What would you like to change? What would you like to start doing after learning from another culture (cultural appropriation)?