In 2017, a survey of 12,000 people across 32 countries
performed by HAVAS found 61% of women and 46% of men believe children should be
raised in gender neutral ways.
Gender typical behaviors can be attributed to socialization,
or culture, but it is also a product biological differences in development. I
truly feel that parents have immense love for their children and their
approaches to parenting reflect that. However, even parents who are up-to-date
on research and best parenting practices make mistakes from time to time. Having
a better understanding of the important influence of the biological factors
behind some of the decisions children make will be helpful to make the best
choices of guided children.
Here are some typical things that we see in boys and girls,
even at a young age:
|
Boys
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Girls
|
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- spatially oriented
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- relationship oriented
|
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-aggressive, competitive, energetic
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-empathetic, cooperative, nurturing
|
In a study of how infant children would try to get their mother’s
attention, we saw such differences. The mother would set her child down behind
a barrier that separated her from the child and go sit at the other end of the room
where she was still visible. Boys would hit at the barricade. Girls would sit
down and cry to get their mother’s attention signifying their need to be close
to her. There were few who expressed atypical behavior.
Of course, each individual is different; however, what is
listed are common characteristics that make boys and girls different. Children
need to explore, and it is important to provide an environment where they can
figure some things out for themselves, but they do need direction. They
especially depend on their parents for such guidance to understand their
identity as male or female. Not doing so can be detrimental later on in their adolescence
and adulthood.
For a time, I got to be with my niece and nephew a lot. It
was so much fun to watch them in their infancy and childhood choose to do
things differently, even to reach the same goal. My nephew, who’s older than
his little sister, has been very much into cars and trucks since day one. He loves
to make the cars crash and go fast. Sometimes he would invite me to play with
him, but would soon be in his own play that I really had to be invested in to
follow. My niece, on the other hand, who has grown up surrounded by his toys plays
with them differently. I think she loves cars almost as much as her brother,
but in a dissimilar way. Instead of doing her own thing, she will bring them to
you, wait for you to comment on them, go and grab another, and repeat the
process. She was much more interested in the relationship with me than she was in
the cars. These two children are incredible in their own ways that has added so
much joy to my life and I am so grateful for them.
Here is a video that adds some comedy when explaining some
of the differences between men’s and women’s brains: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29JPnJSmDs0
Men and women experience about the same amount of emotions
with matching intensity, but men do not tend to discuss them and move on,
whereas women do like to talk about it. Differences do not mean inferiorities.
In fact, it creates balance. Instead of leaving children to make such a huge
decision to themselves at a young age, they should be guided to know how to act
appropriately with their given tendencies to treat themselves and others with
love and respect.
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